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Marina & The Diamonds’ “I Am Not A Robot”

June 29th, 2009 · 1 Comment

I know I haven’t posted in a bajillion years guys.  No excuses, I’ve just been busy.  Drama, work, house work and celeb burn-out have kept me from you my lovelies.  However, this video has compelled me to post.  I’ve watched/listened to it more times than is sane.  Luckily, you and I both know that I’m not sane so no fucking problem right?

→ 1 CommentTags: Music Whores

Sasha Grey At “The Girlfriend Experience” Premiere And Your Links

June 2nd, 2009 · 8 Comments

SFW

Can’t get this damn song out of my head

Diane and Quentin looking sexy…Awardsdaily

Okay maybe I have done coke because I’m absolutely addicted to Red bull…Bumpshack

Speaking of coke, this is pretty hilarious…YouTube

Note to self: never go to Russia for the food…Englishrussia

Pretty interesting!  Women’s BMIs Illustrated…Flickr

For you vadar lovers out there…Just-whatever

The most beautiful wedding pictures I’ve ever seen…Just-whatever

In case any of you hookers want to take a step back and be strippers…Stripper-faq

NSFW

I <3 Faye. And check out the “Fap”network-some good stuff…Redheadfap

Awesome. Pornfails.

If you haven’t seen this you’re life is incomplete…YouTube

This is seriously disturbing…Lolclits

A fetish that never would have occurred to me…Tissuequeens

You’ve heard of air guitar competitions but have you heard of air sex competitions?…Voiletblue

Oh! Guys getting their ASS BEAT.  My favvie!…Captivemale

There’s always going to be war and I’m always going to be getting off so I might as well!…Masturbateforpeace

→ 8 CommentsTags: Music Whores · bad fashion · bdsm · faye reagan · fetish · hot mess · porn · porn stars · random shit · sasha grey · the line has been crossed · vaginas

Bai Ling Blows My Mind

June 2nd, 2009 · 2 Comments

Well look at this.  It’s Bai Ling looking almost de-de-de-demure?  Holy internets.  No animal print?  No nipple?  Muted nail polish and lipstick shades?  This is like me forming a complete sentence without throwin’ a fuck or dick in the middle of that cunt.  I knew it was theoretically possible, seeing that she has arms and legs to put into something that doesn’t showcase her tramp stamp but I’d have never thought it possible.

This just goes to show you that Bai Ling is more than you or I give her credit for.  If you don’t know what she does, that’s not important.  What’s important is this is a remarkable day in celebutard history; perhaps the beginning of a new era.  If Mariah Carey finds her way into something that covers her tits I’m buying a thesaurus.  Promises.

→ 2 CommentsTags: Paparazzi Whores · bad fashion · bai ling

To The Tune Of Camptown Races*

May 29th, 2009 · No Comments

Somebody got their toofies done, doo-dah! Doo-dah!

Those shiny chompers gonna hurt someone, oh-doo-dah day!

Coated with LaBeouf’s cum, doo-dah! Doo-dah!

Trades a douche for another one, oh-doo-dah day!

What about her nooooose?

Doesn’t it look thinned?

I’ll bet my money on some botox scabs,

I’d still sit on her face.

* Did you guys know that Camptown Races was kinda racist?  I didn’t.  Although that did not stop it from running through my head all morning,  it will stop me from making fun of anymore celebs with it…Starting now.

→ No CommentsTags: Actwhores · befwhore and aftwhore · megan fox · shia labeouf

Being A Pop Star: You’re Doing It Right

May 29th, 2009 · 1 Comment

11:06 AM me: hey you
Daddy: hey YOU
me: you should go to extra and watch lady ga ga’s new video and tell me what you think
11:07 AM xoxoxoxxoox kisses your face
11:08 AM Daddy:watching nows little girls
11:10 AM i can’t handle this shit
11:11 AM me: what?
Daddy: the video
me: what about it?
Daddy: i’m not yet half way through and don’t want to watch any more
me: okay, but you’re not telling me what you don’t like
Daddy: first, music aside, video aside,
i find her kind of revolting
11:12 AM and the makeout scenes in the beginning were ridiculous
i fast forwarded a bit
they obviously spared no expense in making this video
put a ton into the production
me: yes
11:13 AM Daddy: so it’s nice and shiny and rich
me: the production is awesome, absolutely what she wanted
Daddy: i can’t stand her singing
there is no authenticity to it
its pretty surprising though
11:14 AM that one can get rich from humping the shit out of Madonna’s archives
i think the thing that i find so revolting
is that she’s positioning her career (and this video) to show herself as a sex symbol
me: hahahaha
11:15 AM Daddy: but the only people who find her attractive
are not heterosexual males
me: she’s in pop music and a women
of course she’s positioning herself to be a sex symbol!
lol!
11:16 AM she’s all about appearance. this is the epitome of shiny, vapid, ostentatious pop music
Daddy: i didn’t notice
its shit like this
11:17 AM that is an afront to any music with heart in it
but
me: hahahaha
i don’t think so.
Daddy: gay people will wear this song like an accessory
11:18 AM because that’s all it is
me: how can you have good music without bad music?
Daddy: an accessory
me: and
Daddy: bad music can have soul in it
chocolate rain
terrible fucking song, terrible fucking performer
me: if you listen to what she says, that’s exactly what it’s intended to be…i think it’s a brilliant commentary on consumer culture that she’s famous. i love it
Daddy: but the kid who wrote it in his basement put soul into it
11:20 AM me: i like extreme things, in case you haven’t noticed ;-) i love that she’s doing this…the sad thing is, she’s come in here with less looks and less talent than beyonce has in her little finger and she’s making happen. i think it’s hilarious
and awesome
horrifying but awesome
someone is dying of starvation somewhere and she’s doing this
11:21 AM this world is nuts and amazing and horrible
Daddy: If I could never hear it again I’d be thrilled
me: hahahhaa
i’m going to play it over and over again :D
Daddy: i know you will
and i will leave the room/house over and over again
11:22 AM me: hahahahha
kisses you

→ 1 CommentTags: Music Whores · Paparazzi Whores · lady gaga

There Has To Be A Dick In A Box Joke Here Somewhere…

May 28th, 2009 · 3 Comments

I’m too lazy today so I’ll leave it to you perverts.

→ 3 CommentsTags: Models: Not To Be Confused With Role Models · heidi klum

Uh Ohhhh…Adrien Brody And My Choady

May 27th, 2009 · No Comments

These pictures are not new.  I went out of my way to find them.  Be on high alert.  When you come to this site and my # 2 celebrity fave for clit abuse is in a post you must beware.  Be on the look out for a horny 29 y.o. brunette running about screaming for a dick nose and salad toss—it’s me and I mean to collect.

Mmmmmm…Adrien…MMMMmmmmm…The best part about reverse 69′ing and getting your salad tossed is that you get a little urethral massage.  Contrary to the assumption of almost every dude I’ve been finger banged by-I do not like my actual urethra and opening to the vaginal canal raked, guys.  If you’re brushing past with the intent of penetration, that’s fine.  If you’re rubbing your way up to the clit, that’s fine.  But don’t just rub there like it’s a magic button, it feels like you’re trying to put a tampon in.  A.K.A. not good.

I digress…What I’m saying is, if it has nails or is dry be gentle down there.  Just because you see the hole doesn’t mean you should pry at it like you’re trying to wash out the inside of a milk carton.  But if it’s a big beautiful dick nose-pry away!  Especially if you’re willing to do a little ruby star massage.  It’s a great combo.  Just keep in mind the previous advice I gave you earlier, you dirty tricks.  Wash your asses first.  I know you’re out there.

Here’s my #1 pick for 69′ing so long it turns into an infinity sign.

P.S. I just discovered there’s a electro-hop group out there called LMFAO.  That’s the lamest thing I’ve heard since Katy Perry said sharing bodily fluids with a stranger “is disgusting.” Pretty fucking lame.

→ No CommentsTags: Actwhores · adrien brody · anal · fetish · vaginas

There Are Camels In Australia?

May 26th, 2009 · 3 Comments

→ 3 CommentsTags: Music Whores · lady gaga · vaginas

Ugh. Tuesday. After A Three Day Weekend.

May 26th, 2009 · 1 Comment

Duuuuuuuuuuuude.  This sucks.  Back to work after doing nothing for 3 days is like the third month of a new relationship.  Sex isn’t as fun, you have to tell the person what you’re doing at all times and they expect you to do a bunch of weird shit like “care about their family issues” and “hug them after sex.”  Bummertown!

The only thing that is going to get me through today is listening to fun music.  Well that and ogling Cameron Diaz’s photoshopped gams in Vogue.  I’d say she makes me wanna diet but we all know there’s way too many calories in booze for that to happen.  Although, I heard about this chick in college who was anorexic and an alcoholic who would freeze vodka and crystal lite into ice cubes.  That way she’d get her buzz on with little to no calorie intake.  I should look into that…In the meanwhile, you should look into Little Boots:

→ 1 CommentTags: Actwhores · Music Whores · cameron diaz · little boots

Rumer Willis Is 20 But How Old Are Her Boobs?

May 23rd, 2009 · 3 Comments

→ 3 CommentsTags: I'm famous because of someone else · frankentitty · rumer willis