Extrawhoredinary.com | Where Taste and Respect Come to Die header image 2

Please Jessica Biel, Just Stop

October 30th, 2008 · 3 Comments

Step 1,2,3 and now 4, in Jessica Biel’s reintroduction to the spotlight have been so completely fucking horrible I struggle to simply describe it.  Bland, drab, misled, age inappropriate, noxious (the lipstick on 4) and unflattering all describe her stylist’s choices.  If she has a stylist, that former stay at home mom with a “creative side” and an online b.a. in art design, needs to go back to picking out school clothes.

It hurts.  It hurts my eyes, it hurts her career and it hurts the fitness industry.  If someone that young and that buff can look that boring there’s no hope for anyone who bothers schleping to the gym and saddling up to a treadmill.  Go back to walking your dogs in yoga pants and wandering ’round Rome with Justin.  At least those photo ops aren’t caked in fuchsia lipstick or monochromatic catalogue shoots.

And you betta watch that lipstick.  Coco won’t forgive you jackin’ her steez.

Tags: Actwhores · jessica biel

Related Post

3 responses so far ↓

  • 1 teddy good times // Oct 30, 2008 at 9:05 pm

    If only she were Hebrew and those pictures went right to left. Next thing she’ll be wearing a garbage bag and hanging out with Tila Tequila.

  • 2 msmolly // Nov 2, 2008 at 11:05 am

    Touche Teddy! Although wearing a garbage bag and having Tila as a new BFF would make her more interesting!

  • 3 schmallison // Nov 2, 2008 at 4:05 pm

    That black dress on the right IS a garbage bag.

Leave a Comment