It seems pretty obvious to me that Katy Perry is the definition of a one hit wonder. Yeah, I know she’s got that other song about her emo boyfriend being gay but my grandma hasn’t heard about that one. Why would anyone give a shit about her song being controversial, when Britney blew up as a 16 year old girl in stripper gear is due to one thing: she’s in a gray area. Nobody likes the gray area.
She’s not singing about lesbianism, she’s not singing about bisexuality and she’s cares what her boyfriend thinks. That’s not controversial; it’s a song about what occurs an any college bar in America after 1 AM. It’s a nail in the coffin if you want support from gold starry-eyed lesbians and damn near any feminist. I suppose you could get the gay men behind her except for they don’t give a shit about girls kissing, she’s switched from boyish to bosomy tartlet and it doesn’t have a good house remix.
So catch her while you can folks! She’s cute but unexceptional. Hot but not sexy. Big tittied but just covered enough to sing along side The Jonas Brothers. Raven haired but not exotic. Styled as a hipster just in time for the hipster look to be on every rack at H&M and Forever 21.
SHE’S GONNA LOOK BACK AND REGRET THAT SUCKER
7 responses so far ↓
1 teddygoodtimes // Sep 16, 2008 at 6:09 pm
Imagine a Turkish woman staggering through “I kissed a girl” choppily singing “I hope my boyfriend doesn’t get mad at me” instead of “I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it”. Welcome to my world. It’s one of my wife’s cutest qualities.
2 Frothy Afterbirth // Sep 16, 2008 at 7:28 pm
I want to go to Dartmouth College just for sadistic kicks and poll all the ultra feminists there whether Katy is really that lickertastic precluding gasms into atm.
3 hotcakesandflapjacks // Sep 16, 2008 at 9:04 pm
She’s just not hot.
You know? Just doesn’t do it for; she reminds of that girl in grade school who so badly wants to be the pretty girl in class but always fails (like Ewa Fratczak’s disastrous princess leia buns for 8th grade picture day). She should just deal with her semi-cuteness and resist being sexy. Oh and using a computer to sing for her. Oh and wearing bathing suits to awards shows. Shit I could go on forever.
4 hotcakesandflapjacks // Sep 16, 2008 at 9:05 pm
She’s just not hot.
You know? Just doesn’t do it for me; she reminds of that girl in grade school who so badly wants to be the pretty girl in class but always fails (like Ewa Fratczak’s disastrous princess leia buns for 8th grade picture day). She should just deal with her semi-cuteness and resist being sexy. Oh and using a computer to sing for her. Oh and wearing bathing suits to awards shows. Shit I could go on forever.
5 Daddy // Sep 17, 2008 at 12:20 am
I feel pretty fortunate that I have NEVER, NEVER heard her single in its entirety. Maybe I’m lucky, or just a web-addicted hermit. Thus, I have heard no one’s opinion of Katy Perry so I am able to form my own.
These pictures have put my opinion in question. She looks less than noteworthy, less than special, less than hot. The few glimpses of Katy Perry that I had seen prior kind of made me want to eat my girlfriend’s butt and ask, “do ya like it?” While that might confuse a few of you heteros, I mean to say that I thought Katy Perry was rather hot.
Not hot like, “god, she’s so beautiful and sexy and hot that I don’t care that there are two dogs on the bed, I just want to fuck her.” I mean hot like “We’re 20 and we have this school project to work on and I have a two-month girlfriend that I didn’t tell about our meeting and I kind of want to fuck you in the library and cum on your glasses” type of thing.
Thing is, Katy Perry looks like the messed up cunt that would call and email for months following, telling me she hasn’t washed her glasses since. You had me at “I kissed”, you lost me at “a”. Everything after that is just guilt, sheer and utter guilt.
If I were 20, I’d fuck ya in the stacks. But I’m 28, and I have much better (and much hotter) fish to fry. (and by “fish” i mean “pussy” and “fry” i mean “eat/fuck”).
6 msmolly // Sep 18, 2008 at 9:52 pm
I’ll stick up for Katy..to a point. I liked “I kissed a girl” when it first came out, then the radio stations played it incessently and that ruined it for me. All the idiot teenagers that call in on the radio “Oh my gawd! Can you like totally play that girl kissing song? That’s my favorite! *giggles idiotically*” Moderation, people! I liked her hot pants, it was a nice distraction from some of the other hot messes at awards shows. Again moderation!!!! Girlfriend is played out. Perhaps if we’d been introduced to her in smaller doses than repeatedly smacked in the face we’d like her better.
7 Who Are These For? // Sep 24, 2008 at 10:09 pm
[...] If this was a pic for Playboy, I’d understand. Vanity Fair seems to think that as long as Miley Cyrus is being whored out by the likes of Annie Leibovitz it’s okay to go skank; it’s art! It’s not art and it’s not Maxim so who is this being marketed to, is what I’m left wondering? It’s fine Vanity but just don’t expect that to work well when you can get beautiful fashion shoots and T&A quicker and cheaper elsewhere. I said it once and I’ll say it again: nobody likes the gray area. [...]
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