10. Kanye West
WAAAAAHHHHH!!! Nothing says “douche” more than winning and then bitching ’cause you didn’t win everything. Though he complained a lot in 2007, the most ridiculous was saying MTV was racist for having both the opening (Britney) and closing (medley featuring: Keri Hilson, Timbaland and his artists D.O.E and his younger brother, Nelly Furtado and Timberlake) acts of the Video Music Awards performed by white people.
*ahem, pointing to the list that includes people of color*
Frustration with putting money before art from the guy’s whose #1 song is a remix of a Daft Punk hit is completely merited. *rolls eyes*
CLICK THE “READ MORE” TO SEE THE OTHER NINE
9. Rick Salomon
Rick is a real winner and the obvious choice of discriminating women like Shannen Doherty, Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson. He’s on the list ’cause he was only able to hold on to Pamela HALF the time Kid Rock did. You have to be a real piece of shit to not be able to keep a marriage together longer than 2 months when your wife is high and/or passed out half the time. Plus he has the trademark douche bag scruff and skull cap.
See reference pictures here:
8. Matthew McConaughey
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of a finely tuned torso, but not if that torso is attached to a camera-whore like Matthew McConaughey. If I see him in one more picture with his shirt off I’m gonna gouge my eyes out.
Yeah Bitch! We’ve seen your body! How ’bout a shirt now?!
Doin’ push-ups for cameras on the beach…*shaking head* He needs to hear: “it’s okay you have a small dick, Matthew, I love you for you!”
See half the reference pictures here:
7. Richie Sambora
1. His name is “Richie.”
2. He’s in the band Bon Jovi (that’s bad enough) but he, is not Bon Jovi.
3. He’s an old, overweight rocker.
4. He fucked Denise Richards AFTER Charlie Sheen. Yum.
5. He’s fuggly.
6. Last but not least: he was married to Heather Locklear for (by my count) 14 YEARS and then decides to fuck her best friend. Fuckin’ all class douche bag, allllll class.
See reference pictures here:
6. John Mayer
John Mayer baffles me: how does he pull hot ass without functioning genitals? He dated Jessica Simpson for like nine months. My only guess is that there was a lot of hugging and finger banging.
He looks like Uncle Fester with a pussy hairdo, he wrote “Your Body is a Wonderland,” and I don’t like his face; it’s petulant. You wouldn’t fight this dude, you’d challenge him to a duel by smacking him across the face with a kid glove.
See reference pictures here:
5. Ray-J
A coattail rider. Ray J is most notorious for his sex tape with Kim Kardashian but he’s also been linked to Lil’ Kim and Whitney Houston. He’s Brandy’s little brother but what gets this wannabe on the douche list is his “release parties” for the sex video and mixtape. What a fuckin’ stroke; he’s a nobody so he uses Klassy Kardashian to get himself publicity. High five douche! SIKE!
See reference pictures here:
4. Criss Angel
His website: www.crissangel.com. If that home page doesn’t learn ya than I guess you’re dating a douche bag and I’ll have to explain. He’s a bling’d out white boy who calls himself a “mindfreak.” Ah-haaa. Yeah… He’s on the douche list for his opportunistic high-profile “dates” and his fondness for hearing himself speak. In 2007 he jumped on the paparazzi gravy train by dating Britney, sniffin’ around Pamela Anderson and schlepping around with Cameron Diaz. But really though, just look at him, if that isn’t douche I don’t know what is.
See reference pictures here:
3. Pete Doherty
This one is a fuckin’ charmer. In ‘07 Pete’s been in and out of rehab, given his cat crack on film, been taped injecting heroin, consistently enables drug addicted Amy Winehouse and was dumped by Kate Moss. This guy needs help. More importantly, he needs to shut the fuck up about how Amy Winehouse is “perfectly healthy.” Enablers like him need to be quarantined. *cough, Dina Lohan* *cough, cough, Sam Lutfi*
See reference pictures here:
2. Tom Cruise
Our little Napoleon…How could he not be on the list? His toothy smile, his seemingly undeserved, perfect wife and toddler and his die-hard commitment to Scientology keep him in the public eye. It also keeps me wishing he would run into something sharp—like a javelin. He’s glib, rich, white and…short. I just want to stuff him and put him on my mantle.
1. JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE
Mister: “McDonald’s market share went up 25 percent when I walked into those offices and changed their image,” gets to be #1, right where he feels he belongs. Justin Timberlake is the biggest douche for oh-so-many reasons. Mainly, his ego got him there in 2007—he blasted awards shows like the Grammys as “a load of bullshit” and took verbose credit for everything he touched. I think he’s gotten disproportionately cocky due to his new bouncer girlfriend, Jessica Biel. Or maybe he’s lashing out after being touched in his naughty spots by Lou Pearlman. Either way, he’s fedora wearin’ dick knob and our #1 douche bag of 2007.
See reference pictures here:
14 responses so far ↓
1 PipeDream // Dec 20, 2007 at 1:57 pm
Nice, I think you accurately nailed each one.
2 Schmallison // Dec 20, 2007 at 2:52 pm
Goddammit, it’s guys like these that take douche to a new level. They allow lesser douches out there to say to themselves, “Hey, at least I’m not THAT douche-y. In fact, by comparison, I’m hardly douchebag-like at all!” It’s a damn epidemic. We should tell them all that they’ve won the galaxy’s most awesome talent award, and if they come to the award show they can have all the free coke they want. Then, when they show up, we SLAP THEM IN THE FACE! This is a great idea…I’ll get right on it.
3 Hollywood Entertainment News! | La.Cityzine.com // Dec 21, 2007 at 4:23 pm
[...] Top 10 Celebrity Douche’s [...]
4 Hello // Dec 30, 2007 at 7:29 pm
I think you missed the biggest one. Zac Efron. Have you seen this guy? he has freaking highlights for petes sake!
5 Mikey // Dec 31, 2007 at 8:03 am
Klassy Kardashian?!?!?
If you’ve got a guys cock in your mouth & he’s got a video camera on you, don’t act suprised when it’s all over the internet!
BTW, when did having a big fat ass become sexy?!?!?
6 Much More Interesting | Extrawhoredinary // Jan 31, 2008 at 11:16 am
[...] You know? I kinda like him more now. I mean, look here—he’s wearing clothes! A shirt, a jacket, pants…He’s making great strides from his douchbaggery. [...]
7 Whore Don’t Lie | Extrawhoredinary // Feb 19, 2008 at 10:04 am
[...] is a video of Denise Richards talking about her relationship with Richie Sambora and his ex-wife Heather Locklear. In the video, she says she stopped being friends with Heather [...]
8 safs // Feb 24, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Sounds like you’re the douchebag if you have no life and can sit around and make douchebag lists. Come on, really. Cant you be constructive and get out there and make the world a better place? And dont be jealous of J.T. just because he’s got money, beats, moves, and hot chicks and all you have is this website.
9 YOU Make ME Itch In My Underpants, Denise Richards // May 13, 2008 at 10:14 am
[...] the clip she says “you guys make me itch.” Sheeeah! Friends don’t make you itch; douchebag, Hollywood whores like Richie Sambora, make you itch. Lamisil! (’cause you know she likes to [...]
10 doug // May 20, 2008 at 11:58 am
good list. 10 really isnt enough to do justice the number of fuckin douchebags in hollywood though.
11 M.Weatherly // Jul 30, 2008 at 12:52 am
UPDATE ON MINDFREAK, CRISS ANGEL:
12 M.Weatherly // Jul 30, 2008 at 1:01 am
Magician/Illusionist Criss Angel is said to be getting ready to wed his new Toronto girlfriend this Halloween at the Luxor Hotel in Las Vegas. Criss has been seen around town sporting a crown tattoo on his left ring finger. Sources close to the Magician say he is “constantly in touch with his new girlfriend. Either we are transferring her calls to his suite or he is on his cellphone with her. We even spotted him engagement ring shopping at our in hotel jewelry store. It looks like true love. Criss who had a disappearing act pulled on him when estranged wife of nearly 5 years filed for divorce for allegedly having an affair with Cameron Diaz. It is also rumoured that he is the father of former fiancee, Minnie Drivers child.
13 PandoraWilde // Aug 18, 2008 at 11:10 pm
Kid Rock called–he’s gonna beat the shit out of Justin Timberlake if he doesn’t give him back his fucking fedora.
Oh, and how did you miss THAT one?
14 Hollywood Entertainment News! | ScreenCrave - Passionate about Movies // Oct 3, 2008 at 10:18 pm
[...] Top 10 Celebrity Douche’s [...]
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