…By Britney Spears…

1. Fabreze.

2. Pseudoephedrine, batteries, table salt, Red Devil Lye, etc…

3. Oprah to answer my calls.

4. RID.

5. A “lip job”…the other ones.

6. Shar Jackson dead.

7. K-Fed’s cock mold.

8. Feminine wipes.

9. Bail.

10. Mommy and Daddy back together.

Oh, please. I know this isn’t realistic. Mental maturity cut-off for believing in Santa is about 11. Britney has to be reading, at least, at the 7th grade level. Look! Right there on her pants—a word with more than one syllable! HA! Death to all doubters!

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