I am young for my profession and a majority of my coworkers have children my age or older. By proximity, I am forced to listen and occasionally participate in their conversations. A majority of those conversations center around family, fellow businesspeople and most recently-the economy.
It’s awkward. What I assume to be hearing about since the country has fallen on hard times is: more foreigner bashing, scapegoating politicians or corrective allocution regarding “big city people.” Instead, I hear about how young people just don’t get it. With regards to consumerism, politics, responsibility, family values, morality or how business should be practiced. According to my coworkers, young people have our heads up our asses and no clue where to buy a crowbar.
I’m willing to concede that as a twenty something I have some skewed ideas about standard of living and I might be overly hopeful about the good of universal man. However, just because my celebrities are knocked up and in rehab by 21, I have a big chunk of credit card debt, all my friends are gay or love them- doesn’t mean we’re idiots. I think young people bashing is largely due to the invisibility of the “bad guy.” Al qaeda isn’t a State, asset securitization seems like a magic trick, my grandma’s favorite talk show hostess just married her girlfriend and young people are the only ones who can google why.
I understand older people, especially, don’t like the gray; it is hard. But times are hard for everyone. Everyone that is, but Miley Cyrus—she shut down Disney World for her bday. That little twat sold tickets to her 16th birthday party for $250 a pop the day before the market fell to a five year low. So I just want to say thanks Miley Cyrus. Having to defend young people while talentless idiots like you are raking in millions is part of my generation’s war. Everyday Disney whores make my life more difficult to live.
14 responses so far ↓
1 schmallison // Oct 6, 2008 at 6:45 pm
Smile if your daddy was a one-hit-wonder!
2 Captain Obvious // Oct 6, 2008 at 11:41 pm
I swear to everything holy to do my best to make this girl’s life a living hell. I’ll never understand the life of a 14-year-old girl…Juliette did, though. But she killed herself. Perhaps Miley should pay homage to her.
3 hotcakesandflapjacks // Oct 7, 2008 at 8:06 am
You know what? I try to stray from girl on girl hate but in this case I’ll make a special exception…
1. Her singing sounds like cats screeching
2. Her attempts to dance truly make her look like a retard
3. Her face oh god her face. She looks like a demented doll, but a demented doll that isnt PRETTY. Like the little man who drew her face on was having a bad day, or had just come back from a stroke, whatever, but something went wrong.
4. She’s 15 and dating a 20 y.o. well okay, thats kinda hot.
4 hotcakesandflapjacks // Oct 7, 2008 at 9:18 pm
Oh and she wears fake teeth to cover up her baby teeth. I mention this because she is so young as to still have BABY teeth which prevent her from putting veneers on. Multi-millionairess with BABY TEETH.
*shuffles off to bed feeling like a failure*
5 PandoraWilde // Oct 7, 2008 at 10:10 pm
@hotcakesandflapjacks–Damnit!! THAT’s why she looks SO fucking STRANGE!! She’s got those fake teeth they put on 5 year olds in beauty pageants so they look older and more sexy–like that’s not the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of all by itself.
Thanks–I’m actually serious. I just felt kind of creepy looking at her in pictures and never figured out why and now I know. Fakes to cover baby teeth until she can get her real ones veneered or capped.
And we won’t get into how lousy I feel about millionaires with baby teeth, while I fight to launch a business on a shoestring at over 40.
6 schmallison // Oct 8, 2008 at 8:56 am
@pandora: that’s what you get for not picking “Billy Ray” as a dad. What were you thinking??!
7 Frothy Afterbirth // Oct 8, 2008 at 2:46 pm
What these old timers fail to realize is they are the ones that started to fuck up this country. Peace , love, and humanitary social hippie bullshit turned to fast consumeristic 80’s yuppie greed. Fuck their hypocritical bitching. Long live Generation X!
8 ALLY // Oct 14, 2008 at 1:49 pm
YOU’RE RUINING MY DAY OFF WITH THIS ARTICLE AND MILEY IS NOT TALENTLESS LIKE YOU ARE. GO BACK TO SCHOOL AND LEARN WRITING SKILLS. MILEY HAS ALOT OF TALENT, IF SHE DIDN’T SHE WOULDN’T BE WHERE SHE IS NOW SO STOP THE DAMN MILEY HATE SHE’S ONLY 15 PEOPLE!
9 theprincess // Oct 14, 2008 at 1:58 pm
My deepest sympathy for you Ally, perhaps you would feel more comfortable here?
http://mileyfans.net/
Or here?
http://www.anxietysecrets.com/loungeFrame-11.htm
Thanks for stopping by though!
10 Miley // Oct 14, 2008 at 2:14 pm
WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! People said mean things about me being a millionaire by the age of fifteen! I’m going to go cry on my mountain of thousand dollar bills!!!
11 Billy Ray // Oct 14, 2008 at 2:38 pm
@Ally:
Hey there. You 18?
12 msmolly // Oct 14, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Hmm, I was going to hold off on commenting on this post, but now that Ally has commented, well I must say something! Ally - you obviously aren’t old enough to be on here. Did your Mom let you have unsupervised time on the computer? Yes, Miley is 15 but when she dates a 20 year old (that’s not cool, that’s statutory rape), dresses and behaves like trollup, then I think we, the general public, have every right to bash her. Now go play with your Barbie dream house and stuffed animals in your Miley-poster-wallpapered bedroom, this is grown-up time.
13 hotcakesandflapjacks // Oct 14, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Thank you MsMolly.
Since the chance is zero to nil that Ally will come back here anytime soon (although who knows, she might be a larger idiot than I’m giving her credit for) I still want to write this:
Ally, sweetie, where do YOU get off criticizing our rhetoric when you, my dear use, what I can only assume is a colloquialism, or more likely, further proof of your idiocy when you proclaim we are ruining “your day off.” Honeychild its rabid fans like yourself that cause me to fear for the future that is our country. Instead of listening to Miley warble into a heavily synthesized bass I recommend you pick up a piece of great literature (and no Tiger Beat does not count) and open your mind up to the big world around you filled with actual talent, intelligence and people different from yourself.
I know, I know. It can be scary but do you think you and Miley will ever be friends? I promise you, when she looks out at her adoring fans she doesn’t see humanity but dollar signs. You and your love signify she can trade up on that clk Mercedes convertible and get the hand stitched bucket seats instead of standard.
In other words, get a clue, run along and don’t come back now, ya hear?
14 TSH // Oct 14, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Hey, Ally. I bet you have some kleenex still stuffed in your bra if you need to wipe your tears.
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