When Jess is being herself she just looks, cute.

Okay, how could he not be man meat!  Yes!  He licks ballz!  You don’t say?  Me too!  Wah Hoo!

Um hai, can you even imagine him and some other pretty model boy getting it on?  Nekked, sweaty, lithe boys all greased up with little to no body hair?  I can and it’s making me squirm in a pool of panty puddin’.  Clint Mauro is Italian American and from Indiana!!!  That is so close to me, I can almost smell his balls from here. Mmmmmm…Italian model boy balls…mmmm…

I’m not going to do it, but you can here…SFMS

Isn’t the whole “artist formerly known as” very 90s?  Don’t answer that, ’cause yes whores, yes it is.  I have no clue why Beyonce is doing this, at least Prince had an artistic/copyright/legal reason.  It’s dumb.  Just like The House of Dereon’s clothes.  Please note: the best sellers are fucking CDs.

The perfect tool for a lazy ass drunks (me)…RT (NSFW) Thanks Kebbin!

Since when is venison not edible?*wink*…BN

I thought all strippers were nasty? Oh, that’s right, I’m in IOWA…TBO

Quite possibly the worst “dance” video I’ve ever tortured myself with.  Hold on to 1:22 it gets worse…MSV

What celebs would look like if they lived in Oklahoma. Or Muscatine, Iowa…WT

Totally gotta get me onna of these. Make all my hot friends walk through it in order to eat my cookin’…SPON

I don’t know why I keep coming across weird stuffed animals but these are gross!…TG

A squid that looks like a cartoon piggy! Cuties! Oink!…SB

Holy Ali, what the fuck.  Twins traded body parts and it worked…BMEZ

Another video game involving porn; for you dorks who don’t get pussy or mind shitty graphics...FB(NSFW)

Do you take it in the ass?…YT(NSFW language)

Nekked pics of French swimmer. Hawt…OS(NSFW)

Thanks Olga!  Apparently Simon Rex is a NAUGHTY BOY!(no clue how I missed this)…IMSH

I love Pinky and The Brain, that is all…PK

A whole page about poop. Don’t worry no pictures, but pretty fucking interesting!  Turns out my Maltese eats his own shit ’cause it’s rich in protein.  Not because he’s an overbred retard (ha)…HPT

COOL!  Yo-yo dude is awesome…YT

Map of human sexuality…OSF

And to remind you how awesome the nineties were, see the following:

Step 1,2,3 and now 4, in Jessica Biel’s reintroduction to the spotlight have been so completely fucking horrible I struggle to simply describe it.  Bland, drab, misled, age inappropriate, noxious (the lipstick on 4) and unflattering all describe her stylist’s choices.  If she has a stylist, that former stay at home mom with a “creative side” and an online b.a. in art design, needs to go back to picking out school clothes.

It hurts.  It hurts my eyes, it hurts her career and it hurts the fitness industry.  If someone that young and that buff can look that boring there’s no hope for anyone who bothers schleping to the gym and saddling up to a treadmill.  Go back to walking your dogs in yoga pants and wandering ’round Rome with Justin.  At least those photo ops aren’t caked in fuchsia lipstick or monochromatic catalogue shoots.

And you betta watch that lipstick.  Coco won’t forgive you jackin’ her steez.

No matter how this comes out, someone is going to hate me.  But, *deep breath* after listening to house, dance, techno, pop, electronica, etc…and any combination of remixes thereof, for over a decade I know what sounds good.  I’m no music master but I know what shit music sounds like.

I gotta say it- Lady Gaga sucks.  Sorry.  I really tried; she’s well manicured, the songs are fun.  However, it’s like she has taken every trend and mashed it all up with shitty choreography.  Compared to, even the likes of Rihanna’s music production/stylist, she fucking sucks.  She’s not the worst; she does a better job than some other pop stars can do with a big budget.

Christina’s video concept is shit (I’m sick of seeing the “comic book heroine” theme) but at least the song’s production and vocals are solid.  Money does NOT equal talent but no one can deny Christina’s vocal superiority.  She could sing in the shower and it would sound better than most, if not all, of the pop acts today.  If someone can prove me wrong with regards to actual talent, production, style and lyrics I’d love to hear it.

Pa-pa-pah-poker face, pa-pa-poker face?  Really?  I’ll give you Just Dance (ignoring that cluster fuck of a video) and call it a wash.   But I’ll tell ya, one hair style does not make a rip off—Christina still dominates all dem bitches.  Everyone. Even Sasha Fierce; at least Christina has new hooks.  E.g. liberated women with hands in the air here and again, here.

Lady GaGa’s Poker Face here.

Ironic, the nature of a satyr was in “opposition to urbanity, decorum, and civilization itself.”  Kinda sounds like Kim Kardashian’s whole persona.  Of course, that’s associating urbanity with refinement and class.  Not urbanity as it is thought of now: gas guzzling SUVs, supersized fried foods and unabashed consumerism.  If that were the case, Kim’s might not be so opposed.  She already has the expensive goat outfit, 8 pounds of hair extensions and a makeup caked sex tape.

*bleets*

Our favorite little, itty bity, teeny reality TV skanky had a birthday party.  I assumed she was going to some sort of garbage themed Halloween party but no, she wore that to look pretty.  Looks like Tila and Courtenay Semel are still bumpin’ uglies; that’s sweet.  Hey Courtenay, I take out the trash on Saturday for Monday morning pick up too. *snort* Good luck with that.

Yes, I’m stil bitter about Tekillya not picking Dani.

Here’s an extrawhoredinary fail: the shitter rest stop named in honor of Howard Stern has been closed down because it was being used by “gays trolling for sex.”  Ahhhhh, irony, isn’t it beautiful?  The misogynistic homophobe was honored with a toilet but it had to be shut down because gays are getting their fuck on in his “award.” I love it.

I wish I would have known about it so I could bring my love ewe and do it with my strap on in front of the Howard Stern plaque.  You know there’s a plaque; I wonder if there was a ribbon cutting ceremony?  “I’d like to thank the great state of New Jersey and Governor Christie Whitman for this honor.  It just goes to show that having college girls oil wrestle for money won’t go unappreciated by tax payers or lady Republican politicians.”

“Sasha Fierce is the fun, more sensual, more aggressive, more outspoken side and more glamorous side that comes out when I’m working and when I’m on the stage,” explained Fierce in a statement. “I have someone else that takes over when it’s time for me to work and when I’m onstage, this alter ego that I’ve created kind of protects me and who I really am.”