From one whore to another: you’re gonna have to step up your game. Oh no, I’m not talking about golf. I’m talking about your whore game. Your exchange of goods and services with Hugh Hefner is winding down to an end and you’re on the outs, girl. It’s time to start marketing yourself as more than just “the one that likes sports and fucks athletes on the sly.”
You should get sucking editor dick at FHM, Maxim, Nuts, and whatever else, “fart jokes and titty magazine”, you can get your grubby little acyrics on. Those douche bags hold the key to your future so clean up that laugh, put your hair down and smile with your mouth closed. Stat!
I’m sure some activist group will pick you up if you start talking about how much you love animals and plants an’ shit. Don’t try PETA they’re full to the brim with silicone; you won’t stand out. Make sure you stay on your “I fuck” image and save the funds you’re earning from almost naked ads. Get on it girl, ’cause dem titties are gonna come down fast, your grill is barely hangin’ on as it is and asses only last as long as you can pay for them.
4 responses so far ↓
1 schmallison // Aug 4, 2008 at 9:21 am
I don’t know if she’s on the outs at all. With Hef’s money and advances in modern medicine, he may live one to two hundred more years. It’s science!
2 Ola // Aug 4, 2008 at 1:11 pm
you know this bitch has never read a chapter book. for real.
3 Richard // Aug 5, 2008 at 1:37 am
This ho’ll be alright (i-ight?)… she down wit hip-hop. She got a grill. She vacant like a good gold digging whore should be. Kool Moe Dee will scoop her up once Hef disintegrates into dust and Cuban cigar ash.
4 Dasha Astafieva: Hef's Dementia Has Translated Into Taste // Aug 8, 2008 at 10:16 am
[...] like more than Kendra is on the outs! Viva La Brunettes! Looks like Hef is gonna throw his marketing empire behind someone a little more [...]
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