CRYING WHILE MASTURBATING MEANS YOU’RE A GOOD MONOTHEIST
Apparently David Duchovny has checked himself into rehab for his addiction to porn. Now, I contemplated just typing that sentence and leaving it, but you know me and porn—I can’t just leave it alone. I just keep talking about the topic of porn, over and over. “Hey look at this porn.” “Wouldn’t that make a great porn?” “I bet you’d like to see this porn, here’s a link.” “Porn saved my marriage.” “Porn is like cartoons for adults.” Porny, porn-porn…
God, I want to be famous so I can go onto Celebrity Rehab for my PORN addiction.
Me: “Hi everyone, my name is Seis y Nueve (pronounced like Stacy with a soft “t”) and I’m addicted to pornography.”
Group: “Hiiiiiiiiii Seeeeeisyyyyyy.”
Me: “I just want to apologize to everyone right off. ‘Cause, regardless of how you look, I have already or will in the near-future, masturbate to your image.”
“No Mary Carey! No touchy! *smacks whore hand away* I only like the thoughts, not the touches.”
1 response so far ↓
1 schmallison // Sep 3, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Oh, you like the touches.
*spank*
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