Bunker!? Middle of the woods!? Labyrinth!? It’s a 1984 Soviet Union theme park!!! You get beaten, interrogated by men in uniform, share a room with a phallus bust of Lenin and get intimidated by German Shepards… Is anyone else wet?
Did I hear that right? It’s only ~51 Dollars (35 EUR) to visit this masochistic paradise!? Christ, the last time I got my ass beat at a discount like that was in ‘76 by a transvestite in Gurney, Illinois. Heyyyyyy, don’t judge. You would ignore the hairy ball sack and discount sequined jumper too, if you were as horny as I was.
*ahem*
I just made that up. Okay, everything was true but the year and…I totally saw the balls— it turned me on.
*ashamed*
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