Wanna know why I have no clue what defines “fat” you silly hookers? ‘Cause it’s not defined. Fat to one douche bag, sitting behind his computer, jerking off to old pics of Miley Cyrus is a whole stratosphere away from what I’d say was fat. Hell, what I’d say was fat about someone in media is a whole different thing than what I see as “fat” in real life.
People have their vices, that’s life. I think that being fat, alcoholic, a cunt, a druggie, etc… is what you become when you put those things in front of treating people correctly. They’re such ugly words, I choose to reserve them for ugly people. Sometimes a vice is food, sometimes it’s booze *cough*, sometimes it’s being evil, sometimes it’s selling your grandma’s wedding ring for a hit.
Things have gotten a lil’ bonkers when people start pissin’ their chonies ’cause Karolina Kurkova gained 10 lbs. Karolina Kurkova showed up to a fashion show in Brazil with “back fat, cellulite and love handles.” Everyone is in a uproar and saying she is/will lose contracts. HA!
I can’t help but laugh at all this drama but it’s not for the reason you think. I giggle because people get so shocked when skinny girls get chub. I’m a skinny bitch but what my curvier girlfriends don’t get is that when they gain weight- THEY-GET-MORE -CURVES. Skinny bitches like poor Karolina, Gweneth Paltrow, Mischa Barton and yours truly here, gain weight— we get that skinny-girl-gone-fat ass. It’s not pretty: it spreads like the plague with no titty accompaniment. I only hope that Karolina takes the money and runs!
*and snatches a twinkie as she runs out*
make that two twinkies! whaaa!!? it’s a long trip to Czechoslovakia!
I fuckin’ love Twinkies.
2 responses so far ↓
1 schmallison // Jun 27, 2008 at 5:26 pm
I heard that every time a model eats, Donatella Versace strangles a puppy. True story!
In related news, I have some twinkies in my pantry, Karolina. Call me!
2 Schmoldga // Jul 8, 2008 at 6:34 pm
Back in the day when I didn’t eat, Karolina and I used to hit casting calls together. I.E:, I would hope and pray she didn’t come and when she did I knew I would not get the job. She was irritatingly gorgeous then, still is and Brazil is fucking nuts.
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